The Value of Loyalty in the Gay Community: The Resistance I’ve often wondered if loyalty holds a different meaning, or perhaps a deeper resonance, within the gay community compared to others. Then, while scrolling through yet another dating app, I came across yet another profile of a couple looking for a “third” to spice up their relationship. In the last three months, seven couples have asked me to “be their third,” and suddenly, as I looked at my list of messages flooded with couples, I started to reflect: When did loyalty become a concept for three? Don’t get me wrong: I’m not here to judge. Throuples, or “triads,” are legitimate and bring happiness to many. But I found myself wondering if this might point to a deeper trend. Perhaps in a community that has often fought for acceptance, sexual and relational freedom has become a sort of safe haven. But does this mean that loyalty—good old-fashioned loyalty between two—has gone out of style? Have we all become part of a game where infidelity is accepted, even promoted? What happened to the concept of the monogamous couple, which many of us, for years, saw as the ideal destination? Or maybe infidelity doesn’t exist anymore, if everything is consensual and openly discussed? An old saying comes to mind: cheating only exists if someone …
